On November 1, 1997, in lovely, vivacious Montclair, NJ, the brothers of Alpha Sigma Phi played arguably the most waterlogged football game in their history. Marred by torn clothes, six inches of water, and weather-induced rigor mortis, the Alumni narrowly defeated the U-Grads, 7-6 to lead the Sig Series, 2 games to none.
In a tradition setting move, the U-Grads decided to give the Alumni the advantage by utilizing new "high-visibility" flags, formerly Adopt-A-Highway vests. Thus, the game began. After kickoff, the Alumni went six plays up field before Jeff Brill miraculously intercepted a Glenn Trimboli pass. After a water-induced fumble, Jason "Skully" Fitzgerald caught a quick pass for a fifteen yard gain, setting up a Brian Jones touchdown from a Bill Stimmel big lob. However, in a greedy-yet ineffective move, the 2 point attempt by Stimmel was stopped by "Big" Jim Comerford. 1st quarter score: U-grads 6, Alum 0.
The second quarter started with a bootleg by Boli for 9 yards. Showing incredible water mobility, Dave Barker took the ball for 15 yards and the 1st down. A pass to Joe Fass COULD-HAVE-GONE-ALL-THE-WAY, had a Chris "Cup" Budney not gotten in the way. A 23 yard running (swimming?) gain by Barker put the Alumni at the 2 yard line. Proving that white men CAN jump, Trimboli used pro-wrestling’s flying kneedrop to soar past the U-Grad line and score the touchdown. However, not realizing wrestling is fake, Boli injured himself and was out for the game. Taking QB, Chris "I think I can" Lambert passed to Barker for the P.A.T. With the ball back in their possession and using the hurry-up offense, the U-Grads completed a 15 yd pass to John "Mess" Messenger. However, the Alumni’s defensive "Humpty-Dumpty Wall" proved to be too much for the U-Grads to overcome. 2nd quarter score: Alumni 7, U-grads 6.
Previously believed impossible, the 3rd quarter began with even harder rain and softer turf. Unable to capitalize after receiving the ball, the U-Grads punt/passed to the Alumni, for a Barker 20 yd swim-back. Showing that even little guys can have a lot of heart, Cup stopped a 20 yard Lambert run. After multiple successful Q-back sneaks for positive yardage, the U-grads got the hint and woke up, resulting in a "Chachi" Galgano tackle, several incomplete passes, and U-Grad possession on downs.
The fourth quarter, if videotaped, would have been the season winner in "America’s Funniest." An undergrad incomplete pass saw Chris "Smooch" Vakulchik fall on fellow Alum lineman Mike "Scoop" Landas while pressuring Stimmel. Luckily, Scoop was tanked on Samuel Adams "Triple-Bock" and while woozy, shook off the pain. This drive was finally stopped by a Larry "little Big-Man" Gohar interception. A run by Lambert and a completion to Gohar was the best the Alum could do…U-Grads get ball on downs. Exploiting their greater numbers, the U-Grads put Skully at QB. High on life and Triple Bock, Smooch and Scoop had back to back sacks, resulting in 4th and 24 with 1:30 remaining. A long pass to Mess for 26 and a 20 yd run by Skully threatened to change the score, but "Marlboro’s Favorite Son" Gohar stripped J. Brill of the ball with 40 seconds left, and a 30 yd run by Lambert ended the game. Final score: Alum 7, U-grads 6, and no one used the "Last Boy Scout" play. Next event: Basketball. See you there!